I don’t know about you, but I can really struggle with who I am. Who I REALLY am.
Throughout our lives, many of us are told who we are by various people. Everyone has their own opinions. Some of us who have ZERO self-confidence issues (who has this and where can I buy it??!) are able to toss the negatives out the window. And then there are some of us, Ahem, me, who takes those harsh words of who people tell us we are, and allow them to stick. Regardless of the positives we are told. Why is it we cling to those negatives? And on those bad days when we are feeling that self doubt creep in, our minds replay all those nasty and hurtful things. (I once read that it takes hearing 5 positives from someone for every negative they have spoken.)
I’ve heard the “you always…you never” words before. I’ve also heard things like, “You’re not normal, you cry too much, you’re too sensitive, you need to change, do you see who are you, you’re stupid” the list goes on.
Ouchie. I mean, not only do we have enough self-judgments floating through us, but then we have these voices from others. It just does something to a person. I struggle with depression, and abandonment issues, and I harbor this fear that I am going to be left. For being me. Which isn’t a great feeling. I cry. A lot. I do not have thick skin. And people tell me I need to “thicken up.” Well, I’ve tried. And then when a situation comes up where I crumble again…I just feel like a failure.
So instead of trying to change myself, I’m going to try something new.
I’m a sensitive Sally! I feel things deeply. I need to start playing up the positives of this, annoying to some, character trait. I have never looked at being overly-sensitive as a good thing, but there ARE positives there. For example:
People who are more sensitive, feel things deeper, which allows us to have an even deeper sense of compassion and empathy. We tend to be more creative, and have an intuition about things which can help us and others clue in on something that may not be quite right. We are able to better read emotional cues from people, whether they want to talk or admit anything, and we are generally able to see if something isn’t quite right, before someone coming right out and telling us. On top of feeling the negative emotions more, we are also able to more fully feel and absorb the positives feelings as well. Love, joy, pride, wonder, amazement.
I guess this message to you my friends is two-fold. Read the truths of who you are. I’ve listed some below. And then don’t be afraid to just be.
Just be who you are. And stop apologizing so much. I’m talking mostly to myself here! But if this rings true for you, then STOP!!!
Small disclaimer: I am not saying we don’t have to work on ourselves. Or say, “this is who I am, deal with me and get over it.” (That’s a post for next time, things we can and DO need to work on.)
In the meantime, read these. Just a few to get you started. Write them on your bathroom mirror. Carry them with you. Write them on your heart. Because no matter our shortcomings, He thinks we are perfect. Just the way we are.
“For he (Satan) is a liar and the father of lies.” John 8:44
I am not good enough. (You are a royal daughter of the King. 1 Peter 2:9)
I might fail. (God goes before you and doesn’t want you to worry! Deuteronomy 3:18)
I am not pretty enough or the right weight. (God knit you in your mother’s womb and YOU are fearfully and wonderfully made! Jeremiah 1, Psalm 139)
I might mess up my future. (God knows His plans for you to prosper YOU and not for evil or harm! Believe that! Trust in God! Jeremiah 29:11)
I am a failure. God doesn’t love me. (God SO loved you that He sent and GAVE His ONE and only Son Jesus to die for your sins on the cross. There is no condemnation in Christ–You are healed by the blood of Jesus on Calvary. John 3:16)